Only four months left until the end of the year. August has been such an emotional trip. It's been five years. In five years I thought things would get better. But in five years it's still the same. I keep thinking to myself 'why am I still here' but the answer hasn't changed.
I'm running out of things to distract myself with. I'm gonna end up confronting myself just because I've got nothing to do. I hate that it took me this long to figure out the core of what was wrong. And I thought I did well with introspection. Now I feel so foolish knowing that I have been staring at the puzzle pieces for so long and have conveniently ignored them. What a waste- of time, of self, of pain, of tears. I stop myself from thinking of what could have been and force myself to think of what could be.
The answer hasn't changed. I should be the one changing.
