Recently, a friend started dumping a ton of old photos on Facebook and I was in a few of them. I looked like shit. To be fair, I looked like shit in almost all of my photos, probably why I hated getting them. My college graduation photo was probably the most atrocious. Back in the day, faces like mine with hooded/monolid eyes and fat cheeks weren't well represented so I don't think most MUAs knew how to do our makeup. I paid for my graduation/yearbook photo with makeup services and I looked like someone's auntie in my early 20s. Absolutely terrible and I paid for that trauma.
In high school, nearly my entire class would run up front to be part of group photos someone decided to take. I sat back one day while they took photos and then I just kept doing that. I'm sure there are other photos taken by somebody else that I'm a part of but I'm pretty sure I almost never enjoyed the experience.
Throughout the rest of my life I've managed to avoid having my photo taken if I can help it. But for years now I've been regretting it. I wish it was as easy for me to take a photo of myself and feel nothing about it. When I see other people with all these photos of themselves acting like little bookmarks in the timeline of their lives I feel envious. I could step out of this world and it would be as if I never existed.
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