Blackseraphine

When I tried to start blogging my intentions were simple: Just post.

I wanted to voice my mind too. I wanted to communicate. Post photos.

I attempted to do it on an earlier blog. Posted details of a trip. Posted photos. Then scrapped it all two hours later. 

I didn't ask for permission from my friends, I rationalized. I wondered about privacy, theirs and mine. 

Once I posted a long gripe about something that happened to me involving other people. It was just a way for me to vent and I used initials instead of their names. Then I thought nothing of it. A couple of days later I had one comment: "People need to read this." And it wasn't an ad spam! Lol!  This was way before reddit became the dumping ground of personal stories so I must have written juicy gossip to warrant sharing but sharing wasn't big back then so nothing really happened. 

But not gonna lie, it did scare me a bit. I couldn't understand it myself. But I took it down shortly.

When I moved to this space I thought I could push myself to do better. Be more open. More communicative. But my reality was different- I was becoming more of a hermit, shutting myself in and clammed up. Talked less, wrote less. Stringing words became an issue because I didn't feel comfortable doing it anymore.

Managing the space itself was an issue. I could hardly make any headway on the technical side of things. I got dozens of spam email when I tried to put a contact form. And I don't read comments because it's mostly spam. What are you even doing here? Nobody's gonna click on your spam link because nobody's here!

But once in a while, I get something that isn't spam. And it's kinda weird replying since they would be posted ages ago but thank you. 

One more try. One more year. If I get to actually pay for the domain name, because our local payment systems are shitty, I'll give it another go. Post photos. Communicate. Voice my mind. Go.