It's all messy

The blog is a mess.

I did less. Wrote less.  Writing about something as mundane as a trip somewhere already feels weird; writing down my opinions on something I feel strongly about is downright arduous.  I bottled up sentiments and watched others wreak havoc with theirs.  Everything I thought I wanted has fallen apart.

It's all broken.

BDJ Fair 2016: Rise Above the Waves - What we did there and what we got

The BDJ Fair is an annual event from the creators of the Belle de Jour planners, where "Bellas" can avail of their favorite planner styles at discounted prices, purchase other products, listen to speakers on different topics and participate in activities from the company's brand partners.

Rise Above the Waves was the theme for this year's event matching the theme of their 2017 planners.  The event proper was free to enter, but you can avail a VIP pass for Php 200 to get additional perks.  

BDJ 2017 Planners

With the VIP Pass you can have your planner customized and get access to an interactive photobooth and other special activities like bungee jumping, surf riding, tarot card reading.  The VIP Pass also included a loot bag and a seat to two talks of your choice.  Among the speakers were Katrina Gumabao, the first Pinay international plus-sized model.  You can just tell how passionate she was on the subject of body image in society.  On the other hand, Kate Alvarez got a little emotional.  Understandable, since her topic touched on depression.  I wasn't close enough to the stage when Maxene Magalona came on for her talk but from afar she looked great.  Nanette Medved-Po was amazingly statuesque in a white dress with flowy folds.  She looked like an award!  

Katrina Gumabao, talking about body image and working out.

The VIP Pass isn't necessary if you want to listen to the speakers since the venue is small and very open, but I think people mostly get it for the customization option and the loot bag.

Loot bag contents

The loot bag isn't much, but it's good to have if you're hungry. Hahaha! No, seriously, I like the caramel mamon. 

• Caramel Latte from Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, 1 can
• Caramel Mamon from Goldilocks, 1 piece
• Jergen's Age Defying moisturizer, 10ml x 10 pieces
• Carmex Lip Balm, 1 piece
• Caronia Nail Polish in Eternity, 1 piece
• FS Mini Colorific Lipstick, 1 piece
• Cure Peeling Gel sachet, 1 piece
• Skechers ballpen, 1 piece
• Skechers Php 500 off Discount Voucher
• Sorci Age by Wacoal up to 40% off Discount Voucher
• Lynelle 40% off Discount Voucher
• SkinStation Diode Laser Discount Voucher 
• Flawless Php 100  Voucher
• Ace Water Spa 10% off Priviledge Card
• Red Mango stamp coupon with discounts and a free voucher
• Browhaus and STRIP discount coupons
• Merrell Sticker

The best thing about BDJ's fairs, apart from the discounted planners, of course, are the activities in all the different booths. You can kill a couple of hours just lining up from booth to booth, registering and trying the little games.  You just have to be open to giving up your info and Facebook likes.  I got my first game prize at the Red Mango booth.  Some of the prizes to be had are promotional items like mugs or a towel, but it's still fun and brings out people's competitive spirit.

These are what I got from the booths.

That finger is from the girl of the guy competing with my sister for a tub of popcorn.  Seriously, she was getting incensed!

My sister made it out better than I did.  Guess who won the Bingo Line Up game? 

Movie Review: Suicide Squad

I saw Suicide Squad yesterday.  I'm a month behind everybody else but on the up side at least the cinema was nearly empty. There was probably about ten of us in the cinema.

I was a little worried it was going to turn out like Sucker Punch.  Like it looks really good on the trailers and I get super excited then after I see it I'm confused because I'm disappointed but I still really really want to like it.

Well, Suicide Squad is a little better than that. I'm definitely not a film critic but even I can see that there's some things that are wrong with it but overall I found it enjoyable enough to walk away not feeling sorry for myself or my wallet.

Looking at Boomerang I just kept thinking, "This dude is going to die".  There was just nothing in there that made me even want to care for his character. I appreciate the little background peeks into the characters' past lives, but after the nth villain, it just got old real quick.  I've seen the Batman: the Animated Series as a kid, but I've never read the comics so there are plenty of characters that I'm not familiar with.  Obviously, in about two hours of film, some characters would be prioritized more than others.  The film does somehow try to make an effort to make the characters be more than just glorified props, but then it ends up trying to do too much in a very limited span of time.  There are simply too many characters.

The anti heroes versus the villains was such a mismatch that the ending was a given.  It was only a matter of how horrible it would all end.  The villains themselves felt underutilized or maybe their abilities were over hyped.  I kept wondering how Harley Quinn was going to survive given her fighting skills were basically her being crazy.

And maybe because they were pressed for time that the main story suffered. I don't really mind that the story was simple.  I mean, after introducing one million characters, you'd probably have like 30 minutes of screen time left.

The dialogue felt a little flat.  These characters were supposedly the worst of the worst but what they were saying disconnected them from the characters they were portraying.  There was a scene there that was corny and doesn't even try to mask it.  It was so PG13 it hurt.

I would come back and watch a sequel if there were any.  The characters are interesting enough for me to want to see them again.  I just hope they make it less family-oriented.

 The overall aesthetic and mood of the trailer was crazy and gritty and somehow we got less of that.

I can't.  I just.

Sometimes I think, how the hell do other people go about this business of living?

To get by, I just consume things.  In taste, in images, in stories, in thoughts that would never be given form.  And sometimes I ask myself why.  And most times, I just turn my head around and close my eyes.

National Museum of the Philippines and Getting There by Train

When we first caught wind of the free admission to the National Museum, we made plans to take advantage of this offer before it expires at the end of June.  But like the great procrastinators that we are, we were only able to get there at the very last day of June.  And we were late.  And they were about to close. Hahaha! I had expected to get there earlier but I had an errand to run.  The train did make the trip faster but we hit a snag when it was time to choose what station to get off from.

After writing this post, I checked back on the National Museum's Facebook page and they've made the announcement that admission is now permanently free.

So if you want to see paintings, sculptures, half a fountain, and more paintings from different time periods in Philippine history, the National Museum is the place to go.

Getting to the National Museum by Train:

1.a.  Get on the MRT along EDSA.  If you have a stored value card, load up on credits because you're boarding two trains and it's just much easier to not have to load up on every station.  You may find loading machines that are broken or can only accept coins so when you find a station with plenty of available machines, consider that a manna from heaven and load up.

     1.b. If you're closer to the LRT Line 2 (Purple Line) that plies the Santolan to Recto route, you can get on that instead.
     1.c. If you're closer to the LRT Line 1 (Yellow Line) that goes from Monumento to Baclaran, you can get on that and skip to step 3.

2.a.  Get off at the Taft Station.  Because you should, since it's the last station.  You can pass through the mall or the walkway around the mall to get to the LRT platform.  Oddly, I've been asked a few times by fellow commuters for what direction they should take if they're going so and so.  Well, probably the direction where there isn't a fence blocking the train.

    2.b. If you're on the LRT Line 2, get off the Recto Station. Then walk to the LRT 1 platform. Just be sure you're on the ride side of the platform.

3.  Go to the LRT Station and board the train going to the United Nations Station.  

4. DON'T MIND THE SIGN INSIDE THE TRAIN TELLING YOU THAT THE NATIONAL MUSEUM IS AROUND THE CENTRAL TERMINAL STATION.  Seriously, we tried that.  Getting off there involves getting down the street and being confused over where you are and where you're going.  I think that sign was put up by a troll because I don't see how necessitating people to maneuver through traffic, cross the streets and then doubling back is a better option for the commuting tourist.

5.  Get off on United Nations Station. We didn't try this but I think this would have been a better option because it just seems easier.  You're going to cross a few streets too but it's easier to see where you're going.

interserver coupons

Just to give you a heads up, when we went there the entrance closest to the park was closed due to renovations so we had to go around to the entrance facing Padre Burgos Avenue.

Review: Olay Regenerist Miracle Duo: Pre-Essence + Micro-Sculpting Cream

5 NIGHTS TO STUNNING YOUTHFUL SKIN.  Redefine the meaning of "Beauty Sleep".  Unlock the secrets to skin's natural repair rhythm.

At least that was the claim on the card that came with the box of Olay Regenerist Miracle Duo we got from the BDJ event I went to last week.  Recent commercials market these as part of a 5 Night Ritual so here's how it went for me.

What's included.  The box contained full-sized samples of pre-essence and moisturizer.  The Olay Regenerist Micro-Sculpting Cream is a 50 g tub of moisturizer that on the box says

helps renew skin's surface layers revealing youthful look + Hydrates to help plump skin

The Olay Regenerist Miracle Boost Youth Pre-essence is a 40 ml liquid that, with the cream, supposedly

provides  more actives to penetrate into the skin.

Well, that doesn't say much doesn't it.

Packaging and first impression.  The pre-essence comes in red transparent bottle, which I think is plastic because I dropped it, freaked out, and was relieved that there wasn't any crack on it.  It has a dropper dispenser that you only need to unscrew to get a dose of the product.  I'm ashamed to admit that I haven't seen a bottle like this before, but I love this bottle.  It takes the second-guessing out of  how much product you should use.  Once you unscrew this, your dropper is supposed to have one dose of the product.  Instructions on the back say that you need two doses of the pre-essence for every application.

The moisturizer comes in a screw cap bottle.  The consistency was a little too watery for a cream.  It could be potentially messy if you're not careful.  On the plus side, a little of this cream goes a long way.

After the initial use.  My skin did feel different after using it overnight.  My skin felt tighter, plumper.  It felt like my skin cells were bursting.  After bathing in the morning, that smoother feeling didn't go away.  That's a big plus for me because that makes me feel like the moisturizing effect actually lasts.

After the 5 night ritual.  Overall, I did notice a difference in how my skin looked.  It didn't look as dull as it did prior to starting this ritual.  I think it even gave my skin a bit of glow.  I hope I'm not imagining things because I definitely like the effect.

As somebody with oily skin, I always find my skin glistening like a frying pan when I wake and a few hours after bathing and moisturizing.  With this, I noticed that my skin was less oily than usual.  I'm assuming it's because my skin was hydrated enough that it didn't have to produce as much oil to compensate.

Verdict.  I think this is great product to have.  I only read the directions on the box before I used it so I was pleasantly surprised that it did give me the plumping effect that it promised on the box.

The biggest deterrent for me to actually purchase this in the future would be the price.  More than Php3000 for both is a little steep, because I'm broke, especially since the pre-essence looks like it won't last more than a month.  The moisturizer will probably last more than a month though, so you might end up buying more pre-essence than moisturizer in the long run.

BDJ Box Beauty Bootcamp Glam Indulgence Beauty Fair

My sister made me accompany her to the BDJ Box Beauty Bootcamp Glam Indulgence Beauty Fair last Sunday.  Wait a second while I catch my breath from saying that.

I actually didn't know much about this prior to going to said event.  My sister basically said we're going and I said okay.  Like other BDJ events, I just expected that there would be booths, products, and games to enjoy.  There was also a workshop but I don't remember how much the fee was because we didn't register for it.

First Impression. Held at the Palm Grove in Rockwell, it's pretty obvious that I'm not their target market.  Haha!  After commuting all the way to Rockwell, we found about a couple of dozen people already there.  You know something's good to be had when people are already there well before the scheduled start of the event.

In the Event.  And I was right.  The first thing I noticed was a growing line outside the Cover Girl booth.  I had to pass this up because this entailed taking a photo and posting it online.  Cover Girl products were also sold at discounted prices.



We headed next to the Flawless booth.  They had different games set up involving plastic cups which had now made me aware how awfully slow my hands are.  I knew we should have learned the Cup Song!  I failed to win the game I played so I didn't win a prize.

We waited at a long line towards the Body Shop booth.  Signing up allowed attendees to pick a piece of paper from a container that showed what sample you can get.  Among the samples available were scents like Smoky Rose and Black Musk. I got a White Musk sample while my sister got a Tea Tree BB Cream sample.  People also signed up to get a rewards card.

The Kracie booth had a free eyebrow makeover and was selling Pure Savon, Cure, Baby Foot mask and the 1-Day Tattoo Eyeliner, all at discounted prices.  I knew I've heard about the 1-Day Tattoo Eyeliner somewhere but I couldn't exactly remember what it was about specifically.  It's tempting but it's pricier than other brands I know plus I don't know much about using eyeliners so it'll only be wasted on me.  Maybe someday when I've learned how to use make-up I'll give this a try.

The Celeteque booth offered free skincare analysis and a free makeover.  They had no products on sale but had testers of their various products on the table.  You can see on the screen what your skin looks like but honestly I couldn't tell what exactly I was looking at.  Was that a crater?  Hahaha!  Apparently, I had large pores.  I really should work on my discipline and actually follow a skincare regimen.

The Bioderma booth was smack in the middle of the room.  When my sister approached, the lady manning the booth entertained her.  When I approached and stood next to my sister, I heard the woman discussing my sister's skin type, their products and proceeded to give her samples.  My sister asked on my behalf what she'd suggest for my skin so the lady starts to recommend two products then a foreigner stands behind us. The booth lady immediately focuses on her, starts talking to her, hands us the samples without looking at us, and basically we didn't exist anymore. Hahaha!  I guess we're not her target market!

Among the booths I didn't go to were Toni & Guy, which offered free hairstyling, Max Factor, and Browhaus.  I had no idea what Browhaus were offering but my sister visited their booth and the lady there said that a customer had previously told them that they gave the least painful Brazilian.  Um, good to know?  I contemplated buying hair color from Revia and then have my hair colored on the spot, but I didn't feel like walking around with wet hair while waiting for the color to set.

Canon had a booth outside the room where people could have their photos taken, and printed I think.  I thought that was great but I didn't have the guts to have my photo taken.  Seriously, this event had bloggers and photographers everywhere!  Everyone was clicking on everything.  We had to the Matrix ourselves out of getting included in people's photos.  A guy who was photographing the booths and attendees asked if he could take my photo and I was like, 'No, photograph her', pointing to the girl in front to me.  Then we stepped out of the line so he could take a photo.  When we got back in line, I said an apology in my mind to the girl in front of me for volunteering her as tribute.  Sorry, girl.

I didn't actually plan on buying anything before coming here.  My only purchase here are these matte lipsticks from Cosmetix Unlimited.  The booth name is Details so I had no idea which name is the actual brand name.  I don't regularly wear make-up, I don't know how to put on make-up that consistently looks like I'm an actual human being and not a creature from the underworld, but I do try make-up from time to time.  When I finally bought myself shiny, glossy lipstick, imagine my frustration when I realized that matte lipsticks are the in thing now.  So at a discounted price of Php180 each, this was too tempting to pass up.  I think they also had a free makeover at their booth, but I had lipstick; I didn't care.

How was it.  All in all, I would say that the trip was worth while.  There were enough activities to do even if you didn't participate in the workshop, and a lot of stuff to buy if you had the money to blow.  I don't know how other people might fare with the time spent lining up for some of the activities but I didn't mind; hell, I spent hours lining up at the CalligrArt event.   And did I mention the samples?  I have a sachet sample from Cure, product samples from Bioderma and a scent sample from The Body Shop.  And did I mention that the Olay Regenerist products we got are full-size?  Swoon.

Why does the Internet look the same?

I decided to buy a theme for my blog to save myself from the hundreds of hours I would have needed to spend to make my simple template responsive.  I tried to change it myself and already spent a few hours finding a tutorial, changing the code, and I still hit a wall.  I could not figure out what I did wrong.

So there.  Luckily, I found a shop where the themes cost less than $30.  

Probably the hardest part about buying a theme is picking out the theme.  Most of the themes are similar to each other and are different in the small details, like the alignment of elements or the style of the icons.   Half the time, I'd be looking at one theme thinking, "Ooh, I like that", then look at another theme and think, "But I also like that!"  Why can't these elements exist on the same theme?

Now I got this beautiful theme and have it up and running and then I realize... It looks awful with my content. Hahaha!  I picked a pretty theme and it looks nowhere near the theme creator's mock-up. I never really cared about my photos before, nor minded not having photos, because my previous template didn't really necessitate the need for it.  Looking at my blog now, I'm seriously considering discarding my past posts to sort of at least fix the weird looking post list on my sidebar.  I need prettier photos.

Somebody, help me get a sense of style.

I've been looking at what I could do to improve my photos.  What I'm constantly seeing is this aesthetic that's somewhat minimal, a little detached, and definitely styled.  I mean, no hate, I love the look; but how, in the real world, could a smartphone, a tablet, a pencil, binder clips and plastic tulips coexist?

And everywhere online is the same kind of style.  I've been wasting my life on the internet, so where was I when the world sent out the memo that photos should be brighter than the sun, colors muted, with more space than the Milky Way?

Digging through Pinterest, I found another blog with a post on "How to Establish Your Instagram Aesthetic", that states that there is a study suggesting that light, bright, minimal photos are dominating the social media game.

Like I said, I think it's pretty.  I'm absolutely envious that other people can produce these kind of photos.  But I'm doubtful if it could work for me.

Can You Hear My Voice?

This was the post title on a template I was looking at the other day.  This should be my blogging battle cry now.  Except, I have nothing to say.

I have no idea where to begin. I look around and people are talking about niches and types. Like, what type of blogger are you?  Fashion, beauty, photography, travel, lifestyle, what kind of blogger are you?  And I'm not really any of these things.  I don't fit into a certain niche.  I don't travel, I suck at taking photos, and I have no make-up skills.  My life is about as interesting as a piece of rock.

There's a kind of narcissistic quality to internet sharing that I'm not comfortable with.  How do people even begin to think that somebody is going to want to look at what they upload, much less like or comment on it?  When I write something it's like throwing something on the floor.  Eventually, I'll find them and discard them properly.  I also used to write diary entries, then burn them, so this is kinda a thing.

I'm amazed at how naturally it comes for other people.  How could other people NOT think that getting noticed by others is scary and awkward?  But that thing that allows them to post the most cringe-worthy videos without any afterthought or foresight is also what allows them speak their minds on issues, even if it's all mud-slinging and trash-talking.

I miss my old self.  The one that didn't mind to put her opinion out there.  But my experiences taught me that speaking my mind can be met by discomfort, anger, and disbelief, and I just hurt myself.  Still, I regret losing her.

So what kind of blogger will I be?  I've seen people enjoying their hobbies. I've read about people aiming to tell a story, their story.  I've heard of people crying against being silenced.  Me?  I'll be the blogger who's learning to speak.

Breaking from Silence

Alright, I managed to somehow tweak my layout based on another template I found (which isn't available anymore). It looks fairly decent, and I like it.  Then I learned that layouts are supposed to be responsive, which this isn't.  Dammit.

What the hell am I doing?  I have no idea how many times I've asked myself that.  It's clear that self-expression doesn't come as easy to me now like it used to.  I don't write.  I occasionally post a Facebook update to my two dozen 'friends' (lolololol) and I have social media accounts I barely use. So why am I even here?

While I took a step back to figure out what I could do with my template, the election happened.  I have social media accounts but I've mostly avoided actually using them with the exception of Pinterest.  I keep accounts to see what my friends are doing, and to see what other people are posting.  I barely post anything.  I tried posting regularly on Instagram, but a problem with the app on my phone led me to stop posting and I didn't particularly miss it.  So when the election happened, I kept my point of view away from the internet.  I didn't post before, and I didn't exactly plan to change that.  I just waited for other people to say something.  And I waited.

But there was silence.  In the back of my head, I thought, the most vocal opinions are thought of to be true, especially for those who haven't formed their own opinions yet or haven't seen a different point of view.  If we want a different opinion to be presented out there, we have to speak up. I'm going to have to add my voice into the din.  And I tried.  I probably have more posts in that week than I had in 5 years.

In the aftermath of these, I managed to speak to a few of my friends and while we have the same opinions to some degree, all of those I have spoken to chose to be silent through the whole thing.  I have a certain admiration for the bravado of the vocal.  While my friends, and others with a similar point of view were worried about stepping on toes, the other vocal people I've seen never seemed to mind or care.   Meanwhile, when I wrote what I wrote it felt abrasive to the core.  I was actively avoiding engaging people for years, and suddenly I'm posting opinions on politics.  That's like an invitation for conflict.  Before posting, I did think that maybe my Facebook friends who were posting an opposing view may feel offended, or attacked.  And I did see this kind of reaction elsewhere on the web.  But really, if a lot of people today feel they have every right to be vocal, even brash, then I, no, we, have the right to voice our opinions as well.

But now that the election is over and done I feel like going back to my corner of the world.  Politics isn't my thing, and I'd like to stay away from it for time being.  But I know I still have to keep trying to express myself.  I need more practice.

zigphilippines CalligrArt Event

Last week, my friend and I went to zigphilippines CalligrArt event. The activities are mostly centered on the use of Z ig products so aside from an on stage presentation, there were demonstrations on calligraphy, doodling, murals, and other artworks.

The calligraphy demonstrations were the most happening non-happening activity in this event, if that makes sense.  You don't just get to see an artist do their work, you get to take it home with you.  So attendees spent a lot of time getting in line to get their names written, with some even opting for phrases.  Much of our participation was just standing there, but with a friend to talk to during the wait made the whole event interesting.  Mainly, people just lined up from artist to artist, as each artist had a different style, so you get to see your name written in different ways.  There were two artists doing portraits but we didn't line up for that.  On the other side of the event space, mini-workshops were conducted with a Php800 fee per person, if I'm remembering it correctly.  We didn't join that either.

Instead, my friend bought a few things then we sat down for what's left of the stage presentation.  While I'd say that the activities were good, the stage presentation left a lot to be desired.  At one point the artist conducting tbe demo on stage lost audio on the mic and nobody noticed as the host and cameraman where looking elsewhere.  There should have been a staff member overseeing these things, making sure the speakers had everything they need. Afterwards, the host said that it was now time for the much anticipated raffle.

This is were it gets hinky.  The host picked out names, and nobody answers, like twice so she asks the camera man for a number and she calls out the name corresponding to the number on the registration list.  So here's the backstory: my friend told me about this event way back. There's an online registration so we registered immediately.  I noticed that there wasn't any confirmation.  My friend said the registration was only to enter the raffle.  When we got there, there was a separate registration for walk in attendees, which was horizontal as opposed to the list for online regristrants which was vertical.

So we were sitting there among other people hoping to get our names called.  Name after name were called but they weren't there.  One girl said, "Number one! Number one!" And the host said number one and said the name written to it. The girl raised her hand and the host was like, "Ikaw nga?"  And the host gave the prize because 'they were feeling generous'.  My eyes were rolling so far back in my head!

People were calling out to the host, "Yung online" and the host relented and switched lists.  She called out more names that weren't there before cutting it with what she called the 'graduation ceremony', calling the artists on stage for their bouquets, gift bags, and photo ops.

The raffle resumed, with the host calling names from the walk-in list again.  Girl Number One yelled out, "Two", then pointed to the girl next to her.  Guess what? The host said two and called a name, which was - surprise, surprise- the girl sitting next to Girl Number One.  My friend and I were exchanging raised eyebrows.  The people in front started yelling again for "Online", to which the host said she'll call four more from the list she was holding then she'd call names from the online list.

What's the point of having people register online when you won't even give it equal weight as people who walk-in?  I know that this in an incentive for people who attend the event, but I still think it's ridiculous.  Why would you bother signing up for the next event then?  And why bother conducting a raffle when you're unprepared?  And why conduct it in that way?

I'd want to attend one of their events in the future. Coming back for the beautiful art and interesting products, not so much for the possible incentive.