The JLPT N5 Experience - The Epic Fail

I did something yesterday I probably shouldn't tell anyone I did, in the same way that a child who broke a glass knows to slip away quietly before he's found out.

I took the JLPT.

In a way this is embarrassing for me.  Like, how can a person flunk the easiest JLPT level?  Sheer talent, lol.
In a quick google search, what I found were positive reactions to the experience, mostly underscoring how ridiculously easy it was.

Could've been.  Maybe.  I wouldn't know.  I didn't study for it.  I went over my notes and a few days before the test but obviously that wasn't enough.  Especially since in between that time I had close to nil exposure or practice.

In the time that I passed my application form I already knew I wasn't going to be able to study for it.  (It was one of those days... )  But I did it anyway because I felt I needed something to somehow keep me going.  I was afraid I'd give up on the language entirely.

I wasn't able to take my the practice tests because they ran out of slots so the actual exam was my very first introduction to the JLPT.  This was my practice test.  Awesome.

Where I took the test

The test was held at De La Salle University.  This was my first time to set foot in this campus.  (Ugh, I should have brought a camera.)  The line to get inside was ridiculously long.  The examinees were separated by levels, then divided into several rooms.  As I was walking towards the building we were supposed to be in I heard somebody say, "Lasallista na ako!"  Hahaha!  I recalled a similar reaction with an old schoolmate.  He told me he and a few others were told that they couldn't take a summer class for a certain subject in our school, but that they could take the same subject in Ateneo.

There was probably at least a thousand of us from all levels.  We weren't allowed inside the building until 12:30pm so everybody just waited outside.  There were books and notes everywhere.  One girl was standing with an open laptop in her arms.  Me?  Peg of the day:  Come as you are.  Hahaha!  I had no notes, reviewers, nada.  It's a testament to how I feel about the whole thing.

I saw somebody there from my Japanese class.  She said she hadn't studied either.  But she could already converse in Japanese so she'll probably ace the listening part of the test.

We got into the building and into our assigned rooms.  We were seated by registration number.  I found myself right in front of the proctor.  A little briefing, a little chit chat.  A lot of the examinees came from JSAT.  I have never heard of JSAT before this but from what I heard from their conversation, I assumed that they were prepped for this.

The test experience- where it all begins to crumble

We were given a set of three pages of answer sheets.  When I got mine I was a little confused thinking, 'Is this a practice answer sheet?' I had taken tests before with answer sheets that were nearly filled to the brim with those numbered circles.  This one looked like a rectangular box divided into sections of rows of circles.  It looked less than a fourth of the page!

The test answer sheets and test papers were in separate string-tie envelopes that were taped at the flap.  The first part of the test was Vocabulary.  Disaster.  Kanji was among the last lessons we had and I didn't really have a grasp on it.  I still don't.  So I am familiar with only 30 Kanji, ten of which are numbers.  Lol!  I think we were supposed to know about a hundred?  Yep, that didn't go so well.

Since I lacked practice, my reading skills and comprehension dropped.  And I'm a beginner, so that's terrible news.  At one point the proctor says, "Last five minutes." I look at my answer sheet and I realized I wasn't even at the last section of the test!  And before I could stop myself I blurted out, "Ang bagal ko!" Ffff.

There was a 30-minute gap right from the end of the first test to the start of the second test and another one at the end of the second test to the start of the third test.  The proctor packed the answer sheets and questionnaires back into their envelopes, wrote something on the envelopes, then took them out of the room.  Everything seemed very strict and systematic that it oddly felt like an election or something.  When she came back she had another string-tie envelope with a taped flap containing the questionnaires for the second test, Reading.

Going faster downhill

I thought my biggest hurdle would be the Listening part.  In one listening test in our language class I could barely follow what number we were in.  In one dialogue all I got were "refrigerator" and "shelf".  Wth am I supposed to do with that?  Afterwards, my classmates were discussing it and apparently there were food and drinks in a shelf in the refrigerator and you're supposed to answer what shelf it was on.  I didn't even get that far!

Back to Reading.  As I was saying, I thought my biggest hurdle was listening, but I was way, waay off.  In the Reading part, I couldn't even get past the instructions!  There was this section with that had sentences with four blanks and a star sitting on one of them.  I couldn't figure out what to do with it.  I couldn't even calm down long enough to actually understand the instructions because I was pressed for time and already reading everything at a grandmotherly pace.

Same drill after the test: questionnaires and answer sheets are packed and taken.  When the proctor came back she had a radio for the Listening test.  I think the cassette tape was also in an envelope.  The cassette tape itself was even wrapped in plastic!  Wow.  Who makes these things?

Anyway, I was bracing myself for the test when a girl asks, "Can we use a scratch paper?"  WTF?  What do we need a scratch paper for??  What? Are we doing computations? What?

Full-blown silent panic.

Then we start.  And surprise, surprise- I can somewhat follow what's going on!  I'm still missing words so my answers are questionable but it was definitely better than what I had expected.  Hell, I was just happy I was able to follow what number we were on!

I still don't know exactly why they need the scratch for. To write down what they hear?  I'll find out someday.

And that was it.  My very first JLPT experience.

Obviously, I'm not proud of what I did but in a way I was a bit glad I did it.  I don't think I'd be giving it up after all.

The test is divided into three sections:  Vocabulary, Reading and Listening.  There is a 30-minute gap in between tests.  I don't remember the exact numbers but there is probably no more than 50 questions per section.  In Vocabulary, part of the test alternates between Hiragana and Kanji: the word is in Kanji and you're supposed to find the Hiragana of that word, or the word is in Hiragana and you're supposed to find the Kanji.  The questions are carefully constructed so that the differences in possible answers are small and you can't simply guess the right answers.  In Reading, the sentences aren't that simple.  There are combinations of sentence patterns.  Knowing how to transform verbs is not enough; understanding transformed verbs at a glance is essential.  You won't have time to transform them.  In Listening, you must be able to follow the whole scenario.  Again, the differences in the answers are small and if you miss some words you might choose the wrong answer.  For example (this is not a question from the test, just to illustrate what I'm saying) Three people walked in the bar.  Two men and a woman.  Then two people walked into the bar.  A man and a woman.  How many men walked into the bar? 1) five 2) two 3) three 4) four